Sheena's Jokes

If you have any good jokes mail them to Sheena at

Updated July 99

David Ames

Where do astronauts park?
At a parking meteor !.

Grandma took Sylvester to the vet one day. "I'm afraid Sylvester has canary fever," the vet told her.
"Oh, my," Grandma gasped. "Is it serious?"
"No," the vet assured her. "It's tweetable !."

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?
"ill eagle" is a sick bird.

What do whales eat ?
Fish and ships

Where do cows go for entertainment ?
Moooovies .

What exams does Santa Claus take ?
Ho, ho , ho levels .

Why is the Chef mean ?
Because he beats the eggs , mashes the potatoes and whips the cream !

Why dont you see Giraffes in elemenatary school ?
because they are all in high school .

from Darren Genge

Why do men wear gold chains?
So they are worth something !!

First woman: My dog is so clever it rings the door bell when it wants to be let in. Second woman: Whats the point ? I just give mine the key?

A Giant captures an Englishman , a Scot and an Irishman
He tells them he will let them go if they can tell him to do something that he can't otherwise he will eat them.
The Englishman says OK jump across that big lake. OK says the giant and jumps it with ease. Lifts the Englishman and bites his head off , crunch crunch !

Then he turns to the Scot who says lift that huge rock. The Giant does it easily and lifts the Scot , bites his head off -crunch , crunch!

Now he turns to the Irishman who looks at this big Giant for a minute , then spits on the road and says 'Swim in that !'

Why can't dinasurs cross the road?
Because there went any to cross!

sent by tyler age 7

Read you later, Rhonda:)

Why did the tomato blush ?
Because it saw the salad dressing !
April 97

Little Bear : Who has eaten my porridge ?


Mother Bear : Stop moaning ! You silly Bears ! I havent made it yet !

Q. Why chiken can'nt cross the road ?
A Because he is a chiken.


Q. What do you call a blind deer ?
A. No Idea !

A very unpopular man stood for election in a small town in India. He got three votes. For weeks his wife kept nagging him. 'Tell me ' she kept saying 'whose is this third vote !'.

Q.What did St Peter say to the Scot who knocked on the pearly gates of heaven ?
A. Go away ! We cant be bothered to make porridge for one !

Did you hear of the Irishman who when asked the way , thought for a long time and then said
-Well if I were you , I wouldnt start from here !

From Steve Herzfeld

What did the Yogi say to the hotdog vendor in New York?
Make me one with everything.

Why did the Yogi refuse the gift of a vacuum cleaner for his hermitage?
Too many attachments

From Safeen

Q:- What do you call a blind dinasaur?
A:- Doyouthinkhesawrus !

Two biscuits are crossing the road . One gets run over by a car. The other turns round and says 'Oh crumbs !! ' - sent in by Vikram .
Mummy tomato is crossing the road with baby tomato. Baby tomato is a bit slow and gets run over by a car. Mummy tomato turns round and says 'Ketchup!'
There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other I hope you know how to drive this thing !
Person A . 'Do you remeber the guy who was so organised he got all his work done by friday ? Person B . ' No . did he study with us.? Person A . 'Crusoe. Person B .' Who?' Person A. 'Robinson Crusoe ! '
There are two cows in a field and one says "moo". The other says "Funny I was just about to say that !"
There are two cows in a field . One says " So are you worried about this mad cow disease ?"
The other says "Of course not . I am a chicken !"
Q. Why is six afraid of seven ?

A. Because seven eight nine !

Q.What did one wall say to another ?

A. I will meet you at the corner !

A. How do you fit four lions into a mini car ?

B. I dont know , how do you ?

A. Two in the front and two in the back . How do you fit four tigers into a mini?

B. I dont know .

A. I just told you.

B.Ok two in the front and two in the back.

A.No its already full.!